Patricia Awards 2014: Movies

 In Three Sentence Movie Reviews

I counted the number of movies I watched and it was a lot.  But I’ve forgotten that number.  So, without further ado:

Best way to feel high (or possibly bored) without ingesting substances:

To the Wonder

Best too-dark and mumble-y film with four strong male leads:

Out of the Furnace

Paul Walker Memorial Viewing that didn’t hold up:

She’s All That

Best Ending:
Best Prison Scene

The Italian Job (1964)

Best way to spend 13 hours (excluding a trip home to feed the cats) :

Lord of the Rings Extended Version Trilogy

Best not-talking western with a female lead:

Meek’s Cutoff

Best boy molestation drama that’s hard to watch but worth it for the acting:

Mysterious Skin

Best movie to pull the boyfriend in:

Pitch Perfect

Best Canadian TV show about a Shakespeare Company:
Best theme songs:

Slings & Arrows Seasons 1, 2 & 3

Best Chris Pine Elizabeth Banks movie with a twist I didn’t see coming:

People Like Us

Worst movie I watched populated with people who don’t share my values:

Spring Breakers

Best movie about painting lines on roads:
Movie that proves movies that feature men can be about the most boring things on the planet

Prince Avalanche

Worst Downton Abbey Season:

Downton Abbey Season 4

Best movie with song that will get stuck in your head that you don’t mind:
Best movie with Channing Tatum’s voice:

The Lego Movie

Best movie I put off seeing because I thought it would be schmatlzy, but instead it was tremendous and really, you should totally watch it:

About Time

Best scene with a bird containing an actress who really is afraid of birds:

I Give it A Year

Best movie about a flawed female character I loved:
Horrible movie poster that made me not want to watch this movie:

Young Adult

Best movie about grownups who aren’t quite grown:
Best facial hair on an actor:

Drinking Buddies

Best anticipated Kickstarter Movie:

Veronica Mars

Most over-rated movie I almost fell asleep (multiple times) while watching:


Only commentary track I listened to
(which told me way more than I ever needed to know about a former high school classmate):

The To Do List

Best overlooked ensemble cast movie:

10 Years

Wes Anderson Movie that has lept to the top of many people’s list of favorite Wes Anderson Movies, but which I had trouble staying awake:

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Best surprise reveal as well as best use of vending machine:

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Best movie about women’s friendship I’ve seen in a very long time:

Brokedown Palace

Best movie that still is so damn intense:

The Departed

Best use of a Jim Croche Song in a movie EVER!:

X-Men Days of Future Past

Best family drama that makes one happy one is not a member of the film family:
Really great title that just rolls around in my mouth:

August Osage County

Stupid movie I liked just because I enjoy the leads so much:

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Best Movie of the Decade
(though if you haven’t seen it, tamp down those expectations because it’s best for a few reasons and I don’t want you to go in expecting it to be something it’s not):


Best HBO series with a lot of nudity and great plot:

Girls Seasons 1 & 2

Hideous, horrible movie I only watched because of Anna Faris and it wasn’t really worth it:

Just Friends

Best movie not from this year that I watched this year:

What’s Your Number

Best movie that was packaged just so I would love it:
Movie where I finally crossed over to the side of not being supremely annoyed by talking animals:

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Best overlooked and incredibly sweet zombie love story:

Warm Bodies

Best movie about people who don’t share my values that was actually watchable

The Bling Ring

Best movie with a forgettable title that introduced me to Zoe Kazan:
Best movie that lets a short man be short:

What If

Best movie set on a train:
Best movie featuring Tilda Swinton and a great set of false teeth:


Best movie I had low expectations of and thus enjoyed greatly:

If I Stay

Best movie I watched this year:
Best movie to look for the “quotes” from the original Sleeping Beauty movie:


Worst movie for treating women as objects:
A movie that has not aged well at all:

Revenge of the Nerds

Movie that was not at all graphic, but totally disturbing:

Never Let Me Go

Best comedy movie with a female as the main character:

In A World

Best book-to-movie adaptation of the year:
(but you should read the book anyway)

Gone Girl

Second best movie in which Channing Tatum’s voice appears:

The Book of Life

Movie that desperately longed to be cut by a good 30 minutes, but alas meandered on for much longer than necessary just like this award title:


Best hair (worn by President Coin):

Mockingjay Part I

Best Girls as Punk Rockers (although only because I haven’t yet seen We Are the Best:

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

Best movie that lived up to the elementary school hype:


Best revisiting of a Gus Van Sant film:

Mala Noche

Movie that didn’t really have a good understanding of its main character AT ALL:

The Homesman

Best Paul Rudd film:

Wet Hot American Summer

Best long journey that is actually interesting as opposed to a slog for the viewer who isn’t actually doing all that hiking:


Best BBC Series 1 watched this year:


Best use of soundtrack:
Two (TWO) characters who were also in Veronica Mars
(which has nothing to do with the actual film, which was also quite good):

Dear White People.

Do join us in comments and give out your own awards.

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Showing 3 comments
  • Jan W.

    I haven’t seen Dear White People, so my best soundtrack would be Guardians of the Galaxy. I watch enough movies that I should be doing a list like this. Don’t know why I don’t. By the way, I LOVE the ending of the original Italian Job. I’m a sucker for cliffhanger endings. That’s also part of the reason why I’m so incredibly fond of "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels."

  • Kathleen Cheong

    Fun list that I’d be coming back to when I ran out of ideas what to watch!

  • Sara K.

    Sara Here:
    Favorite movie that was a total surprise for me: Guardians of the Galaxy
    Best movie that I helped pay for: Veronica Mars
    Maggie Smith is a Rockstar Award: Downton and Quartet
    I am rather saddened that I cannot remember any other movies I saw this year. That is desperately disappointing.

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